Somewhere To Lay My HeadTitle:  Somewhere To Lay My Head
Author:  Lilian Peake
Genre:  Contemporary Romance
Published:  November 1977
My Rating:  5 stars
Source:  Owned, Paperback Edition
Cover Description:

Liam’s words came slowly. “So they were all lies he told me about you, all lies. And I believed him, everything he said about you. Well,” he added, “everything’s over now, finished.”

Everything’s over, finished. The words spun in Alyson’s head like a roulette wheel. Her marriage to Liam had been a gamble, a gamble she had lost.

Liam had been the winner and he had taken all–her innocence, her heart and all the love that heart contained. Suddenly, she just didn’t care any more!

Setting up your home in a new location often brings many hidden treasures to light once again.  As I was cleaning off my books (physical books) to re-shelf my bookcases in some sort of order I came across many gems from years gone by.  Books that probably no one would see quite the same way as when they were published.  How the book industry has changed over the years.  Today Alyson would probably be seen as a very weak woman, a doormat possibly instead of what I saw her as, back then and today.  Alyson was a woman who was accustomed to picking up the pieces of chaos left behind after her step-sister.  She was in many ways a Cinderella who when she believed she’d found her prince, he turned out to be worse than a toad.  He was a  jerk, a man who had his own demons to battle — and conversation was not one of his strong suits.

Somewhere To Lay My Head hit a nerve with me way back when.  It’s probably why I still have the book on my shelves.  Here was a woman who had so much to give but no one willing to accept her gifts of love, loyalty and devotion.  She had loved Liam from almost the first.  But when her sister walked away from her fiance after a car accident left him paralyzed, it was Alyson who agreed to marry a man she did not love in order to atone for her sister’s actions.  Setting her up to receive Liam’s disgust, anger and indifference when she married his brother.  Then after his brother’s death he simply intends to toss her out on her butt – not seeming to care that she loved him or had no where to go in the world.  When he announces that his brother’s last wish was for Liam to marry Alyson and care for his brother’s now second hand wife there is no joy about it simply duty and as difficult as it would be, and as hard as Alyson wants to say no… she does love this jerk and believes that something is better than nothing.  She learned her lesson rather quickly unfortunately.

This is an emotional story – back then and still when I re-read it last week.  It will break your heart, simply put.  If you can even find a copy today.  I think that everyone at some point in their lives has felt that “no where to lay my head” feeling – a love gone wrong or a love not returned.  The truth is that often times love hurts and not everyone gets a happy ending.

I think what angered me about this story was the fact that Liam did indeed love Alyson before she married his brother and even more when she married him.  His damned pride kept him silent, willing to believe an obvious vicious, emotionally destroyed brother than the evidence right before his eyes.  It made Liam less of a hero in my eyes, even if Alyson did eventually get her happily ever after.

Sometimes stories stick to you for various reasons.  Somewhere To Lay My Head is such a sad love story and I am not convinced that the couple ever got their happily ever after at the end.  For me too many times Liam had the chance to make a difference, to actually give Alyson some affection and every time he failed.  So coming clean in the final few pages of the book wasn’t enough for me to redeem him.  Yet, the story lingers on in my mind.

This was a post about a story that was…Read But Not Forgotten.